So I got sick. Again. Another cold/flu that knocked me down and forced me to rest for the majority of this week. Michael always likes to take the opportunity when I’m sick to remind me that I need to rest more, relax more and do less. I think it’s because I’m usually too tired and defeated to try to argue that I truly think I’m superwoman that I acquiesce and agree . Lucky for him (unlucky for me) I was really sick this time and over the next 48 hours I had plenty of time to mull over his words and take them to heart.
I’m thinking it’s time to let this “superwoman” mentality go. For real. It’s not serving me well. In fact I may argue that this approach on life is creating a lot of to-do lists and stress and sickness. And not a lot of rest and relaxation and dare I say clarity. I’d even go so far to say that this mentality I’ve opted doesn’t make me happy. Yeah, I said it. I’m not happy living with to-do lists and commitments and a million things on my plate.
Somewhere along the way, probably between getting engaged and a promotion I adopted this mentality that if I could just finish my to do list then I’d have time to rest and relax. Except I never get through the to-do list and I never make time to relax. I never took the time to prioritize which things were just “life things” like cleaning and taking out the trash and would always be on my to-do list and what were the real to-do list items, you know like planning my wedding.
It occurred to me as laid coughing on the couch that I’ve even stopped going to yoga classes on Sunday morning’s because “we have too much to do”. And that’s when it hit me. I’ve stopped doing a lot of things I love like reading a good book or watching a movie on a Saturday afternoon. I’ve stopped doing those things and instead I force myself to work on some list I’ve created in my head to help me feel more organized.
And I think this is where I’ve gone wrong. I feel overwhelmed and disorganized with all that we have going on because I don’t stop to let myself relax and rest. I stopped nurturing myself in that way. Instead, I’ve just chased the dream of having no to-do list. Which let’s face it, isn’t going to happen to anyone ever. So maybe on Saturday when I’m looking to the week ahead and panicking and feeling disorganized I should instead give myself a half an hour to rest and relax and recover before going all Type A with my to-do lists and forcing myself to work on this or that. Perhaps some rest and relaxation will help me keep things in perspective and find a few minutes of clarity and peace in my busy life.
So I made a promise to myself to make more time to rest and relax. No multi-tasking, no worrying, no stress. Just a little bit of time each week for myself. Maybe it’s yoga for an hour on Sunday morning. Or curling up in bed early on Sunday evenings with a good book. Just giving myself that opportunity to really let go and relax. It’s also a promise to take action when I’m noticing that I’m getting tired or have been doing too much. To stop pushing it so much and telling everyone I’m fine when I’m really not. The reality is that whatever I’m working on will be there when I’m ready to pick it back up. I fully recognize that I do have a lot going on and I can’t change that but I can’t change how I approach it and handle it. And giving myself an hour or two back a week to spend a little more time relaxing won’t hurt. In fact it will probably help.
I hope to be back with positive updates on this promise to myself. And hopefully, I made you stop and think about your to-do lists. For now, I’m off to go read a good book and rest up so this cold/flu will go away…