Tag Archives: Growing Up

May11

Growth: On Facing Your Mid-20′s

Posted on by
Standard

Happy Friday! Yesterday the sun came out for a little bit and the weekend is supposed to be gorgeous! Some warm weather and sunshine is exactly what my mind, body and soul needs.  I’m not heading home for Mother’s Day and will definitely be missing my Mom.  I’ll be enjoying the day with Michael’s family instead but will be sure to FaceTime with my Mom before the day ends.  I also have a haircut on Saturday and I’m so looking forward to it! My hair needs to be freshened up!  We have a birthday party to go to on Saturday and I plan to get some running in.  It should be a good weekend!  What do you have planned?

I’ve been mentally writing and rewriting this post in my head for months.  I’ve put off writing about it because I’ve always felt that I’ll never quite get my thoughts and emotions down in a way that truly expresses how I feel.  But I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately so I’ll give it ago.  I want to talk about facing your mid-20′s.  I’m 25 and if you asked me to describe my life in one word I’d say HARD.   I’m fortunate that I have a good job that allows me to live a life I enjoy, I’m lucky to have a family that is always there to support me and love me no matter what.  I have friends who at some point or another felt or experienced what I’m going through.  I have a boyfriend who is my best friend and picks me up when I feel down, makes me feel like I can do anything and constantly reminds me that it’s ok to feel what I feel because as he says, “25 sucks”.  But what I don’t have is life experience or all the answers and I am constantly wondering does it ever get easier?

When you are growing up no one ever tells you that in your 20′s you change in a million ways.  In fact, I always remember hearing that being a teenager was tough and that life gets easier.  Please, I’d take being 16 over being 25 any day. When I think back to myself at 21 or 22 I’m completely different than I am now.  My friends are completely different too.  As you go through your 20′s you change, you figure out who you want to be and who you don’t want to be.  You realize that some of your friends aren’t what you once thought they were and you move on.  That’s hard.  If you are like me, you moved to a new city and knew NO ONE.  You are forced to make new friends who come from all walks of life and backgrounds. You learn that it’s hard to make true friends.  And you learn to value the friends you already have, who have been there for years.  In your 20′s you learn it’s better to have a few great friends than a lot of  mediocre ones. More so, I’ve learned that the best friend you have in life is yourself.

Dating is hard because you are constantly changing and evolving. It’s hard to find someone who can change and evolve with you.  But when you do, it’s amazing and it feels incredible to have a partner by your side.  When you fall in love you begin to build a life together, you have mutual friendships, vacations together, you share a home together, and you talk about getting married and having a family.  Some of your friends are two steps ahead of you and some are still searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right.  You can gush and share every detail with some of your friends because they are genuinely happy for you and with other friends you have to hold back a bit.  Your family has to adjust to you sharing your life with someone, sharing holidays and your time with another family.  With that comes sometimes disappointing them and hoping that in the end they just realize how happy you are.  Navigating each relationship and allowing them to grow with you is hard.

In your 20′s you realize that you can probably do your boss’s job and you are stuck in an entry-level position.  You have enough experience to gain more responsibility but not enough to get a promotion or that next level position.  You are navigating the always challenging road of speaking up and finding your voice but being professional at the same time. If you are like me, you have experience that translates to a million different careers but you are lost and confused as to which one is the right one.  In your mid-20s you learn more through failure than through success.  And that is HARD.  You think you find the answer but a month later you figure out that for one reason or another it’s not. Some days you feel like all the pieces are falling in to place and other days you feel like you can’t even find a piece to begin.

They say life is a marathon not a sprint right?  Just like marathons there are easy miles and hard miles, big hills and little hills.  Michael recently compared your mid-20s to Heart Break Hill.  When I was running up that during Boston I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and kept on going.  It was hard.  Your mid 20s is like that.  Sometimes you just wish you could quit and life would be easy but it’s all part of the journey so you just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Like a marathon you keep hoping for mile 25 and I suppose your 20′s are like that too.  You keep hoping for 30 and keep hoping that it will all seem a little easier.

“As every runner knows, running is about more than just putting one foot in front of the other; it is about our lifestyle and who we are.”
- Joan Benoit Samuelson

You have to stay true to yourself.   You can’t be something or someone you are not.  You have to follow your heart and trust your gut.  And as I like to remind myself, “Your smarter than you think you are.”

Were your 20′s hard? Are you struggling to make it through the mid-20′s? What are your thoughts?

Mar27

Growth: On Slowing Down

Posted on by
Standard

Hey Guys!  I hope you are all having a great Tuesday.  I’m looking forward to a nice, short and easy 3 mile run tonight.  I anticipate my legs being tired, heavy and sore and that’s ok because they carried me through a pretty awesome 20 mile run on Saturday.  I’ve also go lots of studying on deck tonight.  It’s hard to believe that in just a few short weeks I’ll be done with the marathon and done studying too.  Some down time is definitely in order, more on that in a later post.

Michael and I have talked a lot over the last few months about all of the ways I’ve grown.  I’m 25 and will turn 26 in August and I think the mid-20′s is a really challenging but exciting time.  For me personally, I’ve definitely found my voice.  I’ve found my voice here on my blog, in my professional career, when it comes to friendships and family and in ways I’m sure I haven’t realized yet.  I’m learning what is important to me, and more importantly what isn’t.  I’m learning that making mistakes is absolutely acceptable and part of the learning process.  During a particularly challenging time a few months ago Michael sent me this quote:

“You have to make mistakes to find out who you aren’t. You take the action, and the insight follows: You don’t think your way into becoming yourself.”

- Anne Lamott

I want to share my growth with you, share my lessons and share my thoughts on the process.   Growing as a blogger, as a runner, as a yogi and as a person are all relevant to what I write here each and every day.  I’ve always wanted my blog to be an open and honest space.  And I think this series of post will let you know more about me as a person and how what is happening with me affects what you read every day.  I created a new category called Growth and will file all the posts and only the posts that are part of the series there.

I want to start by talking about something I’ve noticed myself doing more and more.  I honestly believe that yoga is to thank for this.  I’ve been slowing down more.  You’ve probably noticed that I enjoy being busy, that I like to always have things going on.  What I don’t enjoy though is feeling like I’m in rush, all the time.  As a college athlete and Dean’s List student I really never had enough time in the day. EVER.  I was constantly rushing from a workout to class to a lab or catching 20 minutes of study time between classes because I couldn’t waste that time.  It became normal for me.  After college I started working and have always been training for something or rushing  to meet a friend.  I walk fast, like I’m on a mission, all the time.  And when I finally do stop and relax, I want to sleep for days.

Back in January when the holidays were winding down and I was struggling to train for a marathon, fund raise for Team in Training, plan a fundraiser, study for my personal training exam, blog, work full-time and have a relationship and friends I realized I had taken on too much.  Part of me went into survival mode.  I looked at the calendar, I figured out how to fit it all in and marked dates on the calendar of when things would be over and just barreled through it all.  On more than one occasion during that time I was mad at myself because all of my hobbies and things that were supposed to be fun felt like a burden and a “to- do list” not a “want to-do list”.   In the end, I got through it all.  We had an amazing fundraiser, I’ve raised over $6000 for Team in Training, I am on track to run a great marathon and have a good handle on all my studying and my friends and family were so supportive and helpful.  I don’t want to feel like that again.  It was too much STRESS and WORRY for things that were supposed to be fun.

Since then I’ve learned that it is important to me to have down time, to focus on a few things and do them well.  I’m realizing that it is OK to say no to that spring relay because I want down time.   I’m learning that marathons will all be there when I’m ready and I don’t need to run every race on my bucket list RIGHT NOW.  I’m learning that I can grow this blog little by little over time and it doesn’t need to happen overnight.  I’m learning that I want to slow down and enjoy each experience and opportunity that comes my way.  I’ve learned that realistically I can handle blogging, and one other thing (like a marathon or yoga teacher training) in addition to my commute and full-time job.  That way I can give those things my full attention and still have time to do fun things, see my friends and family and stay rested and healthy.

I’ve learned that it’s worth not hitting the snooze button in order to make a cup of coffee and eat breakfast while watching the news instead of at my desk while working.  I’ve learned that it’s actually nicer to walk at a normal speed not that of a professional speed walker.  I’ve learned that leaving 5 minutes earlier to get somewhere is better than waiting until  the very last minute.  I’ve learned that my yoga mat is where I feel at peace, where I can slow my mind my breathing and feel calm.   I’ve learned that when I slow down and keep myself under control I don’t drop things as much or make as big of a mess.  I’ve learned that when I slow down and THINK before I react or speak the outcome is much better.  I’ve learned to slow down and take a deep breath.  I’ve learned that life is not a race where being the fastest wins.

I’m still a work a progress but I’m learning new ways every day to slow down and improve my well-being.  Turns out stopping to smell the roses isn’t so bad!

Have you learned this lesson?  Have you slowed down in your life?  Have you found balance in your life with regards to time and hobbies?  Can you relate?