Tag Archives: Boston Marathon

One Year Later…

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Today marks the one year anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombings.  One year since lives were lost and others forever changed.  One year since the city of Boston changed in a multitude of ways.

I’ve thought a lot about what I wanted to say today.  I’ve thought a lot about the experience I had, the emotions I’ve felt and continue to feel and how that day affected me.  A huge part of me wanted to say nothing at all today but ultimately that doesn’t feel right.  I’m sure there will be a lot of different point of views on the day and I think it’s important to remember that everyone will react and feel in their own way.  In the end, there is no right or wrong feeling today.  There is hope and strength, and grief and sadness and even anger.  And whatever it is you may feel today, that’s how you feel and that’s ok.

I wasn’t physically harmed when the bombs went off but like so many others I was in the area and was affected in some way.  In the months that followed the bombing I suffered from nightmares about bombs and death and terror threats.  I’d wake up scared, with tears streaking my face.   To this day I still panic if there are a lot of sirens and can immediately feel the fear creeping in.  When you live in a city, there are a lot of sirens which means this happens more than I’d like it to.  Most of all, I’ve struggled to find my own peace with the events.  Reading the news, and seeing stories related to the marathon makes me sad and quite honestly is just too upsetting for me.  Personally, I was dreading this day.  For me, it brings up so much emotion and I’m not sure I’m ready to deal with it.

Perhaps what is most significant is how the events have impacted my relationship with running.  When I ran the B.A.A. Half in October a bunch of fire trucks zoomed by with sirens blaring as I was approaching the finish line.  Rather than enjoying the last quarter-mile I was panicking, and wondering what was going on.  It’s with that feeling that I’ve shied away from races.  I’m just not ready to toe the start line to a major marathon with 40,000 other people.  I’m sure I will again, but right now I need more time.  So many runners have found peace with the events through running.  Countless runners have run races to raise money for the victims of the bombings- they’ve run 5k’s, 10k’s, half marathons, marathons and even across the country.  It’s amazing to see how much they’ve accomplished, and how much money they’ve raised.  But I’m not ready for that and as a result I feel a bit disconnected from the running community and I’m sure I’m not alone.  A year ago, I never thought I’d be saying that.  But it’s true.  For me, running solo with my thoughts is what I’ve needed.

Beyond my own feelings and emotions, I’ve noticed how much kindness the world has shown our city and those affected.  It makes me happy to see victims standing strong, running this race and experiencing genuine acts of kindness.  I followed a dream wedding created for one couple thanks to The Knot, countless fundraisers to help pay medical bills, friendships of a lifetime created as a result and so much more.  And while all the good does make me happy, another part of me feels sad.  Sad that we have to see such kindness come out of such a horrible act.

It’s my hope that Marathon Monday will be a day of healing for this city.  I hope that it’s our chance to take back the city, and return Marathon Monday to a day of community, hope, resiliency, strength and all the good a marathon stands for.  I hope it’s a day for us to heal and move forward.

For today, I’ll be thinking of those we’ve lost, those harmed and honoring the strength of the city that I proudly call home.  

#bostonstrong

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Reflections on 2012

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The sun is shining and despite the chilly temperatures it’s a gorgeous day in New England.  Even though I’m incredibly sore from a weekend at yoga teacher training I was really looking forward to going for a run.  So I layered up and headed out.  Saturday night we had a good old-fashioned snow storm here in Boston and I think the skier in me was dying to get out in the snow and play.  As I navigated the snow and ice and treacherous side walks I couldn’t help but think how this run was much like 2012 itself…filled with obstacles, hard work and rarely a moment of clear sidewalks to just cruise but at the same time filled with happiness, contentment and smiles.

For me, 2012 was definitely a year of making dreams a reality.  I ran the Boston Marathon, became involved with Team in Training and The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, which later proved to be a relationship that would help me make the career change I’d been working so hard for.  I became a certified personal trainer.  I found myself featured on Women’s Running Magazine’s and Fitness Magazine’s websites.  I embraced my new career and job.  And started my journey to become a certified yoga instructor, which in just a few short weeks wraps up.  Michael and I escaped to Maine for a relaxing week away and in June moved in together.  2012 was a big year when I stop to think about it.

For me though, 2012 isn’t about all the accomplishments I can write on paper…sure, I’m proud of them and all of my hard work but I think I’m MORE proud of the person I’ve become and the lessons I’ve learned.  I think I learned this lesson for the second time in my life and I’m sure I’ll have to learn it a third but making your dreams a reality is a lot of hard work.  It’s persistence, diligence, tears and sweat and more so it’s about having a support system who might believe in you more than yourself and will listen to you doubt yourself again and again while always reminding you that you can do this. I’ve learned that not everything needs to be done RIGHT NOW and that truthfully I don’t want to do everything RIGHT NOW. It just means that it make take you an extra year or maybe 5 to accomplish your goals and make your dreams come true but it also means that you’ll slow down and enjoy the journey along the way and really isn’t that what life is all about?  I think most significantly (and with many thanks to yoga teacher training) I’ve finally learned to find peace in life.  I’ve learned how to just be.  I’ve learned to love who I am and outgrow the parts of myself I don’t love.  I’ve learned that the best moments in life are the most simple, like laying in bed laughing with the one you love and curling up with a good book on a snowy day.

As we head in to 2013 I’m looking forward to what lies ahead.  In my efforts to simplify and become a recovering Type A there are no goals to talk about, or lists to tackle this year.  I know my yoga journey will continue on as I transition from teacher trainee to teacher and I know my running will always be there.  Maybe 2013 will have another marathon in store for me, but maybe it won’t.  Most of all I hope 2013 brings as much happiness and laughter to my life as 2012 did.

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As I finished my run this morning I couldn’t help but find hope and happiness in the words that Ellie Goulding so confidently belts out…

But now I’ve seen it through

And now I know the truth

That anything could happen

Anything could happen

So as we welcome in 2013 tonight I hope you’ll believe along with me, that anything could happen and dreams really do come true.

Happy New Year Friends! I wish you all a healthy and happy 2013!